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Not only will others feel the unnaturalness of their pose, but the stress and strain of keeping up the act only serves to wear them down faster, leaving them drained and upset… Not everybody is built to be a club-hopping player – and yet that’s what PUA culture directs men towards.
Not everybody is cut out for traditional monogamy, for polyamory, for kink, for vanilla sex…
Nowhere was this more apparent than in the early days of the Pick Up community, when people assumed that one of the secrets of success with meeting women is to “peacock”; that is, dress up in exotic or even outlandish ways in order to get attention.
Suddenly, you couldn’t swing a dead cat in a bar without hitting someone trying to rock a fuzzy top-hat and black nail polish or a shiny silk jacket, spiky earrings and New Rock boots.
but that doesn’t stop them from trying to force themselves into the model because they Trying to fit into a personality type that’s so diametrically opposed from our real self is like trying to force yourself into shoes that don’t fit; you’re uncomfortable at best and the potential benefits are vastly outweighed by downsides.
When you’re trying to build the life you’ve always dreamed of, you need to do so in a way that’s harmonious with who you , not for who you think you’re should be.
There’s nothing less appealing to a potential partner than feeling as though that they’re nothing more than a warm hole or body that’s filling a slot marked “girlfriend”.
You will see every interaction in the worst possible light: “she doesn’t like me, she’s clearly repulsed by me, she’s only being polite, I’m misreading the signals” This apparently unending stream of reinforcement will only serves to perpetuate a vicious cycle; your self-limiting beliefs cause you to overlook evidence to the contrary, thus reinforcing the belief which, in turn, continues to make it impossible to see the truth. Believing in yourself – that you’re attractive, that you have a lot to offer others, that you can you. You’re not getting any responses from your online dating profile. Over the years I’ve seen these issues crop up again and again; I’ve seen them in friends, in the letters I’ve gotten as Dr.